Day 23

A few weeks before graduating from BYU, I somehow got roped into sledding down the double black diamond ski runs at Deer Valley in the middle of the night. In all borrowed clothes, I had nothing but moon boots from the 1980's to brake maneuver a very swiftly moving toboggan down an icy hill; under concrete tunnels and around tight curves. It should come as no surprise that I snapped one of the bones in the top of my right foot down the second run of the night--moon boots aren't meant to thwart 35 mph speed. A quick trip to the ER taught me my first $600 insurance-doesn't-cover-everything lesson, and I spent my last few weeks at BYU hobbling around.

That same night I was defying gravity up on the slopes, Krista thought it would be a good idea to have her scooter (the non-motorized kind) pulled behind a car. The first run boosted the confidence of both she and the driver. The second pull hit about the 35 mph speed before the little baby wheels of 2 inch diameter couldn't sustain the combination of the gravely road or Joe's drifty driving. Down she went, and with it a broken elbow and skid marks all over arms, legs, and face.

Two graduates. Two injuries. Two hospital trips. Same night. Imagine the surprising text swapping back and forth.

A few days later, she and I ventured out together for lunch. Me on crutches, her with a cast and sling; face all scraped up. I don't remember the specifics, but getting to our table was a fumbling of napkins and dropped crutches and falling chairs and a ridiculous chain of events that had every eye turned in sympathy to our plight. Surely we looked like we'd been through hell together. We'd actually just been dumb as hell.

A YouTube Video

This video was taken at the ward closing social and gets funnier on the third or fourth view. Please note that no non-graduates were harmed in the filming of this 8 second clip. Also? Krista never had better aim in her whole life.

holy history

So last night I spit dozens of random photos at you from an unorganized hard drive. Well folks, I've hit the mother load. Where my photos were a discombobulated wreck, my documents are pristinely ordered and labeled.

And these aren't new documents--but writing pieces, journal entries, and written missionary letters that cover about a eight year span of time starting my sophomore year of high school and into my college days. Oh. My. Dramatic.

Seriously.

Perhaps I'll trot some of these goods out; or perhaps in an effort to save face I'll keep what was meant to be private private. 60 pages of typed letters to a boyfriend missionary? 45 pages of Olympic Volunteer stories? 10th grade chatter? Scholarship essays, church talks, bitter diatribes. It's all there. So. Dramatic.

Un/Fortunately, people from all periods of my life read this blog, so I'll have to figure out what can and can't be posted. I will tell you that my best HS friend Matt (the lone consistent figure from AZ with whom I'm still in contact) and I had a laugh tonight as I cut and pasted him snippets of writing.

To be honest, more than anything else, I'm glad these pieces of my history exist, but I really wish I could tell that sweet, insecure 16-year-old girl not to worry so much. Life is good, funny, beautiful, and meant to be enjoyed.

Now who wants to read how I got dumped from Guatemala?

Tonight? Photos of yesteryear that are going to make this post really long and hard to scroll. Good luck.

Lesson learned? My hard drive is in terrible disarray. You'll notice by the random collection of times and places and ordering. My logistical side is fighting the urge to leave as is (and comment on every photo), but my WILD side is telling everyone to shut up and have another Starburst. Why thank you self, I think I'll have two.

The one similarity in all these photos is that they were taken before the birth of this here blogging location. (Baby turns four next month! And siiiiiiiiiick. I just called my blog Baby. I'm gross.) And have yet to be posted. Good times. (Also? Aren't you glad I'm posting? I felt the urge tonight but decided to hold the "OMG, I luuuuuuuurve the Olympics" for an evening. Old timey photos it is!

Hit it:

ick-be-gone

Every time someone utters the word "ick" I share an internal giggle with myself. You see, in the Fall of 2000, my roommates and I found ourselves embroiled in a prank war with an apartment of boys in our ward. Save the time we poured liquid dish washing detergent in their dishwasher, most of the pranks involved food:

* A hair dryer blowing flour into a hallway vent from the lobby
* Watermelons ceremoniously chucked onto the kitchen floor
* Milk, sauerkraut, and eggs poured into the sunny patch underneath a kitchen window (that also served as an entry/exit to the apartment) etc.

You know how it goes. It's probably a miracle the dorms have held up as long as they have! All those newly independent pseudo-adults asserting themselves in ridiculously typical creative ways.

We'd all heard about the brownies you eat that make you pee blue. Everyone knows that prank, right? Well nine years ago it was still fairly new-ish. Knowing enough about how they were made (brownie mix + blue fish tank liquid), Aftin, Leslee* and I trucked ourselves down to the Walmart. To peruse the pet and aquarium supplies for the special sauce to put in our brownies. At 2am. (Because of course we're awake at 2am on a school night. We're free agents! We're adults!)

The elixir wasn't jumping out to us from the shelves. Asking the employees proved fruitless as the night crew's primary language wasn't exactly English. So we took a risk. We bought a blue liquid called "Ick-be-gone" from the fish aisle and smugly took ourselves home.

Needless to say, we ended up with the runs and several calls to Poison Control.

Moral of the story: If you think you're being clever, you're probably not. But your ick is probably gone.

*Hi ladies! Do either of you have photos from this? I know some existed... need to uncover.

I feel a libel suit coming...

My junior year at the Y, I had to write for the newspaper to fulfill a requirement for graduation. Those who spent any time at BYU may scoff at "The Daily Universe," but with a circulation-size of 19,000 (more than the median circulation for all the country's papers!), it was kind of a big deal.

Last February, I posted my favorite article. Lately, I've been thinking about some of the other articles I wrote. None are as memorable as Barbie and Ken's breakup, but I did have an award-winning article and several front-pagers. I'll admit; there's something pretty cool about seeing your name in print, or having Letters to the Editor written about articles you constructed.

It was newspaper rule that each article (3 a week!) had to have three sources. That semester, my friends became campus celebrities and experts in a variety of things.

My first month at the paper, I was assigned to write a story on stereotyping at BYU. The paper must have been short on content the day the story was published, because it was run in its entirety. We're talking 1500 words here. And at least half those words were quotes by people I know well--half of them will read this post.

But here's the reason for this blog: the quotes are hilarious. The best part? I don't think they're meant to be. When I was writing this article, I wasn't noticing the absurdity of the comments, but removing myself four years from the situation? Hysterical. **Names have been removed to protect the innocent.

--"There are all sorts of stereotypes at BYU. We stereotype based on how people dress, the majors people are in and the clubs people are in. Like the Medieval club -- we typically think of them as people with long, unbrushed, uncut hair, wearing the costumes and stuff, but I'm sure they're so much more than that."

--"It just happens because people don't want to reach out and see what other people are like. It's like saying, 'I don't like you, and I don't want to have to think about you."

--"You see people who are dressed nicely-they have their hair bleached, they have their teeth bleached, and you think of them as being kind of ditsy and kind of air headed. On the flipside, you see girls who are kind of frumpy and you think they're probably nerdy, probably not very cool."

--"If people are dressed nice, I'm usually more inclined to be friendly to them. Not because I think they're better people, but I'll definitely be more amiable with someone who's dressed well as opposed to someone who's dressed extremely frumpily or really dirty. I'm more comfortable with that."

--"There's the stereotypical rich California kids who dress nicely and are dumb. Then there are the skaters who are kind of the 'outside' people. And the nerdy people who wear sick old clothes, like big dresses, blouses and stuff."

--"There's the stereotype against guys who wear socks with sandals -- that they're all nerds. And I'm not saying they're not, because they probably are."

--"As an African-American, we might be thought of as wearing baggy jeans and a football or basketball jersey. That's kind of a misconception. We wear suits, normal jeans, polo shirts, whatever."

--"Because I'm from Oregon, and I don't match my clothes -- a lot of times people think I'm all liberal, and a vegetarian and stuff. Some of it may be true, but not to the extent people think. I love meat!"

--"When my roommate Laura found out I was from California (before we moved in together), she was so sure I was going to be blonde, ditzy, have a computer, a TV, a VCR, a DVD and everything. But I didn't. And I'm also not blonde. [Also], she was really disappointed when I wasn't rich."

--"Because I'm from Provo, people think I'm going to have no idea what a gay person is, or what drugs are. But lots of my friends are those things, or use those things -- I stereotype them as that or doing that because they fit the mold really well.

--"A lot of times people think, 'Oh, you're from Provo, you're going to be an idiot.' Kind of like someone who was home-schooled."

--"Every time I meet someone and they find out I was home-schooled, they're like, 'Oh really?! You're the most normal home-schooler I've ever met.' It's kind of a backhanded compliment, like they're saying, 'You're normal for a weird person.' There's a definite stereotype that goes with being home schooled."

--"If you're from a certain part of the country, like the South, you're going to like country music. Or if you're from the city, you're going to like hip-hop. If you're from maybe a little town in Utah you listen to the MoTab."

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Phew. Sorry that was so long! But it was worth a good chuckle, right? Taken in such a formal context, the quotes seem off-kilter and pretty backwoods. I distinctly remember each of the interviews though, and they were said with much laughter and normalness. I don't see this being a "BYU-thing," I can imagine having very similar conversations out here in Boston. The lesson here is that the difference between listening and reading comprehension is hysterical. (A good example would be reading a transcript of what Paula's telling contestants on Idol.) I wish I could have a transcript of my life; I'd convert it into a screenplay that'd win me a nomination to the Oscars (a la Diablo Cody), and then I'd get to walk the red carpet and tell the attenders to their face what I really think about their dresses; instead of just yelling it at my TV.

Flashback Friday XVI

It's been nearly three full months since my last Flashback Friday post. There are a million reasons and there are no reasons. Either way, let me take you back in time to April 2005--nearly three years ago.

My older sister Alaina and I were both set to graduate from BYU; she with her Master's in Social Work, and me with a BA in Communications.

Of course the women in our family turned this into a major Event. It's who we are and what we do. My family loves to have food gatherings, so much preparation went into the lunch and dinner celebrations. My mom crafted fun graduation announcements and we were set.

The family came down from Oregon and were such troopers--attending two commencement ceremonies in one day. Not only my immediate family, but my second family (Randy, Cheri, Erica, Rachel) and grandparents as well! I dozed off during my own, (9am on zero hours of sleep after being up all night!) I can't imagine what the family was thinking. They must love us a lot.

For graduation gifts, my parents had both Alaina and I choose a ring we liked. For various reasons, I immediately knew I wanted a sapphire. We had the grand ring presentation at lunch between the commencement ceremonies. (Please note the awesome Crest fountain drinks. A drive-through drink station three blocks from my house? I kind of miss that place.) I love love love my ring and wear it often. Alaina loved me enough to cover my fingernails with her own hand as not to mar the photo. We can read each other like that.

That's all! You were either there or you weren't; my guess is this post will only be commented by attenders to the grand festivity. Ain't no thang...

But here's a question I'll propose; does anyone look good in a cap and gown? You'd think after how many years of commencement ceremonies, someone would design a more fashionable graduation gown. I was the lucky winner of an XXXL so it'd be long enough. Sounds like Project Runway has its next challenge...

Flashback Friday XV

A hundred years ago, I taught a Gospel Doctrine class at BYU. It was hard to keep people's attention for longer than a small-talk conversation in most cases--let alone a 50 minute class!

We were teaching the New Testament and an entire lesson was devoted to Paul and his travels. The lesson was comprised of four short stories--miracles really--of Paul's missionary work to the Corinthians. Taking it back to Primary, I decided we needed visual aids to tell the story. Thanks to the generous tithes of LDS church members, each classroom in the MARB was equipped with a computer and projection equipment and we were in business.

I don't remember the exact stories to give you the run down, but here's a snapshot of some of my most favorite MS Paint creations. My favorite details are the midget dissenter, the guy sleeping during Paul's mission report, the French ship captain, the one-handed girl, Brigham Young's great-great-great-great-great-x100 grandfather listening to Paul preach while under house arrest, and Paul's general appearance.

Doesn't this kind of make you want to read these stories? Even just a little? If I'd given Paul pants, would you be more or less inclined to read the source material?

I probably should have given him pants. Or a tunic at the very least.

Flashback Friday - BYU 4/5

Today is Friday. Whoop! I came to work prepared today. I've been wanting to post some Flashback photos for quite awhile now. But with my computer being on the fritz and most of my photos clutched in its unrelinquishing grasp, it's been a struggle. I'm forgoing the wordy lists of the last few Fridays and am here to present a photo list of my 4th and 5th years at the BY.

Most of my readers don't know me in this period of my life, back when blonde was blonde--so I'll give you a little walk through. I'll start with graduation and move backward in time. Some of the faces may look familiar...

April 2005 - My sister Alaina graduated with her Master's in Social Work the same day I graduated with my BA in Communications: Public Relations Emphasis, minors in English and Business. (Toot toot! That's my own horn... but if I could do it again, I would have picked Information Systems so my formal education could have been more applicable to the IT project management I've been doing since grad.) Somehow, I was one of those graduates whose hat didn't fit, slid back, and generally made the wearer look like a tool.

In between my ceremony and Lainey's, we stopped off at our most favorite drive-through drink station. I love the Maverick. We lived so close--Mel, Alicia* and I would make frequent stops.
The night before graduation. Half of us graduated the next day; all of us stayed up all night playing Jenga, doing the limbo, and various other "activities".

The weekend before it all ended, I cooked dinner at my Grandpa and Grandma W's house for the besties. Here's the girls taking a break in the blue room:

This was the night of the career fair. This was also one of three nights that Jamar and Jessica were "together." (Shout out to Erica who crossed the family/friends line!)

Melissa and I shared this really fabulous room in the Clover Haus. If you know either of us, you also know that we're not the most organized people. I was interning at Target at the time and would always bring home purchases that would stock-pile anywhere there was room. (My half of the room is conveniently missing from this photo--it's much worse.) Looking at my closet now, I realize I must have quadrupled my wardrobe in the last two years. Whoops.

September 2005 - Eating dinner at my favorite place on earth; The Texas Roadhouse.

The summers between Years 4 & 5, Mom, Ken, Mal and I lost a collective 100 pounds. It was pretty awesome. We jokingly called it the "Secret-Get-Thin-Summer." Look! A ward luau! April 2004 - Some people in our ward threw a 1920's speakeasy Monte Carlo formal. These boys in our ward went to the extreme and even staged a robbery/gun dual. I'd colored my hair in February, so this was the stages of dark brown washing out.

January 2004 - The friends went to Vegas for an extended weekend. We called it the "Friends Finale" but strangely enough, I'm still quite excellent friends with everyone who was on that trip (save the two girls, and two girls only who got married. The other seven of us are still kickin' around). Some people have asked to see my hair short--well here you go. Short. I know you didn't ask to see me wearing Mom Jeans, but that's just an added bonus. September 2003 - Nine months after meeting in Southridge Apartments, we kicked off our year with a BBQ in Rock Canyon Park. We call this our engagement photo. We've all changed a bit in the last 4 years, don'tcha think? Hair length, clothing selection, head size...

Pretty much I had a great 2 years. It can't be summed up in these 12 photos, but this is all I've got until the jaws of life open and I can get access to the full collection.

More Flashback Fridays to come. This is fun.

*Leesh--Oddly enough, I didn't have access to any of the photos you were in (that weren't smutty Year One Clover photos). I figured you'd forgive me. Well... I hope you'll forgive me.