The responses were awesome. So awesome in fact, that I wanted to create an image of the words most frequently used. (You should read them all. Again, here's the link. It'll just pop-right up. Do it.)
Well well well, look at that biggest, boldest word there is... TIME. Well guess who's got it?Also, probably my second favorite word that was mentioned enough times to gain pixel size is the word "become". Because we all (marrieds! singles!) can be doing that, regardless of life stage.
Anything stick out to you? Or follow-up comments anyone wants to share? I feel like being interactive. BECAUSE I'M PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE YOU KNOW.
8 comments:
After 31 years it surprises me how much we love to hold hands and still be together. Love cannot be defined, for it is different for everyone. The pursuit of good things that leads to other good things can make us happy. You are such a lovely person who can speak in words what we all feel.
I am late to the commenting game here, but amen to the statement that love is a miracle. It definitely has nothing to do with "luring someone in." I think those tactics are typically more of a turn-off than anything.
I'm of the opinion that being married doesn't mean you did something right that the non-marrieds haven't done. I think most married people have little to no grounds to give advice on what it takes to get married. It just happens. And it often comes out of nowhere — the timing is not in our control.
My only tip is to not rule anyone out, despite first impressions (or even second, third, or hundredth impressions). Sometimes someone pursues you and you tell them "probably not" for six months or so, and then one day you wake up and you love that person and then you get married and you're really happy. Weird.
Ashley -- thanks for your comment! This post actually came the evening on or after you and Tim had us over for dinner. The conversation at your table definitely helped shape a good chunk of this discussion.
I agree with you in not writing people off. It's been my experience that it's probably me who tends to be the polarizing individual. But I'm trying to change and get better every day, so maybe the me six months from now will be better than the one that got written off today. ;)
Sidenote: "Luring someone in" is both the funniest and grossest phrase. Good job (collective) us.
How did I miss this post? That word imagery is BEAUTIFUL. Really.
Also, a note about "luring people in" - it's true that you don't want to play games. However, if you lay all your cards on the table right away, you run a huge risk of looking somewhat desperate, uninteresting (come on, we all enjoy a little mystery and excitement), and like your life isn't very full or rich if you're willing to open it up to another person too quickly. Don't play games with it; really HAVE a life that is robust and rich so that prince charming is intrigued and has to prove himself worthy to worm his way in to it. None of us appreciate or enjoy something that comes too easily.
If I had skipped over those initial "game"-like steps initially and jumped too quickly to the "I-like-you-you-like-me-let's-see-what-can-happen" card I would NEVER have endedup with the fairy tale I have now. I'm of the opinion that many older single men have to get intrigued and begin the pursuit and investment on their own; it will take more than some conference talks or great girls making it easier.
... and about Becoming: Amen, amen, and amen. I know I'm only restating what's been said, but a key to your own happiness is to continually achieve, set personal goals, and be ultimately responsible for how you are becoming better as a person. This is fulfilling in single life, and enriching to a marriage. Too many people think that getting married means you have found the one who will make you happy. To be in a marriage of two people still practing their own principles of independent happiness and spilling that happiness over to each other while they're each growing as people is a beautiful thing. Win-win situation; be happy becoming your best and you will be blessed/bless others no matter your life stage.
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