miraculous love advice

Boy oh boy do I have smart readers. Who either told me what I wanted to hear or we're all on the same page when it comes to finding the right one. (Since I know so many amazing women, I'll assume it's the latter.)

The responses were awesome. So awesome in fact, that I wanted to create an image of the words most frequently used. (You should read them all. Again, here's the link. It'll just pop-right up. Do it.)
Well well well, look at that biggest, boldest word there is... TIME. Well guess who's got it?

Also, probably my second favorite word that was mentioned enough times to gain pixel size is the word "become". Because we all (marrieds! singles!) can be doing that, regardless of life stage.

Anything stick out to you? Or follow-up comments anyone wants to share? I feel like being interactive. BECAUSE I'M PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE YOU KNOW.

The Blame Game and why I don't play

Alternate title: The one where Nat finally talks about Dating

For the most part, other than a few exceptions here and there (that I'll have to mentally catalog at some point in the not too distant future), I don't play the Blame Game. I can take ownership for how I'm feeling, how I'm behaving, and I can admit that I'm wrong. Or that I'm unreasonable. (Or that I don't stand too close to black lights because my front teeth are capped and it's mortifying to have them glow in the dark brighter than the others.)

I've noticed an alarming trend in both real and fake Facebook life. It seems that everyone is blaming everyone for everything. E v e r y t h i n g. I don't even have to give you outlandish examples because chances are good you've seen them on your own. Have you noticed it? Are you as bothered about it as I am? Or am I noticing all the red cars on the road after I too purchase a red car?

In the last few weeks, there's been an inordinate amount of dating and relationship blame game happening on Facebook; some of it no-doubt prompted by some of the talks given at a General Conference my church has twice a year. What a disaster. Rarely, if ever (and if by ever do I really mean never) do I discuss dating here. Well surprise! I'm 9 days from my 5-year blogavversary and I finally have something to say. Raise your hand if you agree with me. Or leaving me a scathing comment if you don't. But I can't handle it one second longer.

Love is a miracle. The hows, whys, and whens about two people loving each other the same unconditional amount to settle down and commit to each other for eternity--well boy howdy, I don't think that's something you can manufacture. (Ignore the nuances between can and should for the sake of my argument.) I'm over the hump of feeling sad I'm not married and so grateful that some of my closest friends, and sisters, and parents, and people I use to go to church with, and classmates, and swing bandmates (another story for another day), and host of ex-roommates, and sister-cousins, and Boston friends, and Arizona, Utah, and Oregon friends and my friends' parents... how grateful I am that they've all experienced a miracle! BECAUSE OH MY GOSH IT WILL BE A MIRACLE WHEN IT HAPPENS FOR ME TOO.

You see, I'm what I like to consider a niche person. If the population of people represent a bell curve, I'd most definitely lie closer to an outlier position. (+4 standard deviations! and there ends my statistics knowledge.) It doesn't mean there aren't other people like me in the world, it just means there are less of me. And here's a fun fact into a world I never crack open on this blog--when it comes to men, I either immediately connect and we hit the ground running and we never stop talking and ohmygosh the banter goes back and forth and we're basically living the version of what would happen if Aaron Sorkin ever decided to write a Romantic Comedy. Or we don't hit it off and Welcome to Friend Zone and I'm not too broken up over it.

These revelations shouldn't completely surprise you as I've nattered on for five years about next to nothing--and it's either your type of writing or it's not. (Congratulations readers, if any of you were dudes, we mighta almost had it all. And married dude readers, you missed this catch but CONGRATS ON YOUR MIRACLE.) So, in a very long-winded round-about multi-hyphenated way, I'm saying I don't blame anyone for me not being married yet. I don't blame the men of the Church, the men of the world, and I definitely don't blame myself. So I've had it with the Blame Game. Can't we all just accept that you/I/insertSingleAnyoneHere haven't met the right one yet?

I, like many of my readers, and friends, know the state of the single state. It's not much different here in Boston than in California, or Utah, or anywhere else as an active Mormon. There's no silver bullet destination for optimal miracle cultivation. You just wait, and live your life, and love who you are and do fun stuff. I mean, that doesn't sound so bad, right? You enjoy your job, and you watch some TV and read some books, and stamp your passport, and work on ironing out the kinks in you for awhile. You make, cultivate and curate meaningful relationships. You wait, hope for, and continue to believe in miracles.

Am I being naive about this? Married ladies, let's hear it. How much about your marriage had to do with what you were doing to lure him in? How much was it that you just ::cliche alert!:: clicked? Singles, I'm hosting a Royal Brunch for the Royal Wedding in two weeks. Consider joining me, because I do nichey things when left to my own devices. Believe in miracles!

brevity is best

I think about wanting to write more all the time.

All.
The.
Time.

And I think about ways to make it happen, the self-discipline I could and should subscribe myself to--to simply typing out whatever comes into my head at any given moment. But I hesitate, instead getting mentally bogged down in all the things I could and should be doing at any given moment. So instead, nothing happens. And I'm alternatingly frustrated and apathetic; the latter worrying me more than the former.

Truth be told, life this year has become fairly predictable. 90% of my life is filled with 90% of the same tasks. I'm sure it's that way for most people but my best writing comes in observing the world around me, and the world around me is contained by about a 2-mile radius. I have things I get passionate about, but of late, that writing has been elsewhere--The Digital Mountains where I write about what and why I believe, a letter written to myself in High School for my friend's Dear Me collection, and a post written about last month's Forbes Magazine cover person Clayton Christensen. You see, I write better when there's something to write about.

Wah wah, I know this isn't very interesting. But I forced myself to open a screen and start writing, and this is what came out. I'd like to be doing more of this in the future; let's just hope it's not always so maudlin, eh?

So you don't feel like reading to the bottom here was an utter waste of time, here's two book recommendations for you, both excellent page turners and opening at a theater near you in the next few months: Water for Elephants and One Day.

Also, Twitter and Facebook statuses are keeping my brain sharp. I think my 2011 slogan to date has been "Brevity is best." I should make a bumper sticker.

I don't have kids

But if I did, I'd be making this for lunch tomorrow:

Can someone please do this and report back?

saturday is a special (non-committal) day

This is my fifth 55-hour work week in a row. Two more to go and then I think things will calm down. I recognize 55 isn't going to win me head-to-head battles with those true work warriors (I'm looking at you Finance) but still, I'm averaging two extra days of work per week. And agency life is stressful. It's Go! Go! Go! But I'm fairly well suited for it. Minimal breakdowns this week.

So it's been a bit overwhelming of late but I just have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Colleen and I gorged ourselves on salty chips, guac, and salsa at lunch today in Harvard Square and the sun was shining, and people were smiling, and there wasn't anything I had to do today. It's been awhile. Now I'm sitting on my bed, no plans for the evening, and giddy at the thought I can choose a book to read or a movie to watch and I don't have to put pants back on.

Before I get to that though, let's do a little bit of brain dumping to get you back up to speed in my life. I'mma going to (try to) keep it short so the inanity importance of the following items aren't lost. Listo? Vamos!

• I'm going to the Middle East in less than 3 months. (I know, right?) Five days in Jordan, 10 days in Israel, and 3 days in Egypt. I'm going with a Mormon tour group of other young single adults which is awesome for at least two reasons: 1. The sure to be ratio of 9 women to every 1 man ensures the sweat stains I'll be rocking for 2.5 weeks won't keep me from ruining my chance at meeting the love of my life. 2. Young people = good knees, so everything will be a little quicker ifyouknowwhatImean.
  
• So now my life is filled with checking every available flight option between Boston, Amman, and Cairo. Should we route through Copenhagen to save a few dollars but spend even longer in the airports? What happens when we get into Jordan at 1:55am and don't meet our group until 3pm? You know, normal stuff.
• I'm also on the hunt for what I'm incorrectly calling "Safari clothes." I hit up a few sports stores today to check out their goods (in an attempt to avoid the sweat lines above) and try my hardest to avoid looking really rough on the trip. Need clothes that are wrinkle proof, quick dry, can be washed in the sink, etc. And you know, DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A GOMER. So, I'm working on it.
• I wore my bangs in a pompadour yesterday and I forgot how much I love it. Welcome back to my life cute bangs-are-growing-out alternative.
• Wrote an article about the BYU Honor Code, the basketball team, and my opinion on the matter. It got some pretty major play (thanks 400+ readers!) and I think it's worth a look if you're interested in any of the descriptions above -- or want to see what I write with when it's more grammatically correct and less what my friend Sylvia calls, 'gymnastic semantics'.
• Sitting here on my bed, I face a wall that has artwork of some of my favorite buildings and places I've traveled to (Big Ben, the Salt Lake Temple, the Garden, the Empire State, the Eiffel tower, the skyline in Lisbon and the skyline of Prague). It's one of many many pockets of personality organized in my room.
• I do wish you all could see my room--it's me to a tee. Perhaps this blog needs a series of photos and explanations. Self indulgent?
  

Okay! I have more bullet points but I'll save them for a rainy day. Whichhhhh looks like Wednesday. Now it's time to choose a book or movie. The tossup is between reading Jane Eyre or watching Last of the Mohicans on VHS.

Perhaps someone should introduce me to 2011?

When life becomes a movie

Do you remember when we partied in America's Top Hat for the 4th of July? My darling friend Brooke is a video editor and put together this fun fun amazing lil video of our three day adventure in the great white north. I've always wanted to have a tripvideo of something and Brooke did a fantastic job. And I don't hate the sound of my own voice for a change so double bonus!

4th of July in Canada from expect fairytales.

And now I'm ready to go back. Or for it to be warm. Or to travel. Or to light a sparkler.

a whole host of verbs

's this thing on?

For the official digital record I had full plans to do a monster brain dump yesterday. Instead, I washed my sheets, rotated my mattress (ohhh the perils of sleeping alone and indenting one side of the mattress enough that there's a noticeable dip and the funny and self-deprecating things that could be said but won't be said so YOU'RE WELCOME.), ate too much candy while watching the Oscars, talked myself out of being annoyed when too many people were talking during the broadcast, gave two thumbs up to the PF Chang's food now served in the frozen food section and the sweet and sour chicken that can be yours for $5.99 if you're 12-minutes worth of patient and know how to use a stovetop, wondered aloud why I'm shedding so much hair, couldn't stop laughing when my pew-mate said "Master the Tempest is Raging" sounds like a song Mary Poppins would sing and then all song-productivity was shot, looked at pictures on f-book and realized none have been taken in the throwaway months known as January and February, had good intentions to write quite a few (long overdue) Thank You cards, concocted an outfit that was 1 part Black Swan and 2 parts True Grit, and popped enough popcorn to keep the apricot trees from striking.

So you see, there really just wasn't enough time to blog. But soon.

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If you would like to see some legitimate writing I've done of late, there's always this. Which is, in part, one of the reasons I don't have as much time to blog.

Conversation of the Day*

While discussing this article: Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs

JHK: I missed the boat on being a Mormon hipster in so many ways.

Nat: yes you did

JHK: HA. There's still hope for you though. You're skinny and have that hair and the yellow plaid shirt.

Nat: Hahahahaha. Never gonna happen.

JHK: Yeah, you're already too rich to be a hipster. Plus you like sports.

Nat: You're on a roll.

JHK: When I want to hate on things that are different than me, I can go on and on.

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* A series my friend Stephanie posts to on a regular basis. I finally made the cut after 3 years of trying.

Henry Rex

Days and days went by where every incoming text anyone received was asked the question, "Is it the baby?" December 22nd, the due date for our first sweet nephew came and went, as did the 23rd. And the 24th. And the 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, and 29th. Finally, scheduled for induction, our sweet baby Henry Rex was born on the 30th, six hours after Kendall went on the drugs.



Of course Mallory and I gave him his first self portrait. We somehow managed to get to the hospital five times, but considering the good spirits of his parents Kendall & Josh, we were so happy to be there.

And now, in late breaking news, my sister Alaina + hubs Brad have discovered they too will add a boy to our mix in May. I guess the universe is righting itself. And really I'm so so happy to be here in Utah for this special time.

A (Belated) Birthday Letter

Happy Birthday Nat.

You turned 28 a few weeks ago, I know you know, you were there. Now you’re an even age in a prime year and for some reason we both like the sound of that. It feels monumental. So it stands to reason that 28 in 2011 will be a good one. Make it happen!

This year has been a long one, longer than others in recent memory. Weeks were weeks and months were months. You finished the year the way you started—one routine day after another. One foot in front of another. One crested wave at a time. You worked a lot this year and it wasn’t always clean or easy—in fact it was rather grueling and uneasy at times as you dealt with some fairly abnormal and uncomfortable situations. But now you’re a rockstar at what you do and you wouldn’t trade what you learned professionally (both project and personnel wise) this year. You’ve graduated to the majors. Congrats!

This was the year you might have become a platinum flyer if you stuck to one airline instead of two or three. Salt Lake, New York (x3), Portland, Colorado Springs, Detroit, New York, Montreal, Kansas City, New Hampshire, Amsterdam, Belgium, Spain, Portugal, Gibraltar, Salt Lake, Portland, Detroit, Panama, New York, Portland, Salt Lake. You finally figured out the art of packing (Method: pick a color palette and then create a cohesive line), and more importantly, the art of unpacking. (Method: do it the second you walk in the door. No excuses.) And to think – you planned twice as many trips as this in your head.

You also learned the nerdy joy of saving. This, plus the fact you sometimes buy your cheese at the counter has certified you as an adult.

All kidding aside, you are an adult, and you’ve learned to serve like one this year. Serving God has become part of your daily routine and it’s been the greatest blessing of the year. It’s easier to keep perspective on what’s important and what’s not when you’re anxiously engaged in a good and righteous cause. The minutia of life’s tiny injustices become moot when you remember that myopic vision keeps your line of sight narrow.

This is the lesson you should remember from year twenty-seven. Keep expanding your peripheral vision and look out for others and you’ll be alright.

You have been, are, and will no doubt continue to be abnormally blessed. Keep focusing on the “haves” instead of the “have nots.” Drink a little more water. Wear heels more often. Go and do and then don’t regret. Be a better visiting teacher. Don’t feel anxious thinking you should feel guilty for enjoying spending time alone. Use 4 words when you’d rather use 13. Laugh more. Move your car on street sweeping day and avoid the $50 tickets. Keep listening (loudly) to Country music—it still makes you believe in love.

Above all else, know that I love you. The realization has been the greatest gift of this Late-20’s stage. Please regift to 29.

Love,
Nat

Free public wifi, security, and you

As the computer nerd among us, I feel it's my duty to pass along a very important fact concerning free public wifi internet and your personal account. When you login to something (gmail, facebook, anything that requires authentication, etc.) your username and password is typically encrypted, but little else is. It's very easy for people/hackers to assume your identity on accounts by pulling your unencrypted cookies from the public wifi you're using. (This article is technical but easily understood if you have interest in knowing more.)

One of my developers walked me through this process and I was shocked to see what I could do "as" someone else on facebook, or whose email I could browse through. The good news is that most of these accounts require you to type in your old password before changing to a NEW password, so you shouldn't ever be locked completely out of your account, but much harm can be done before you know it. So! Beware of what you're doing on free public wifi -- this includes the airport (where I now sit typing this email as I'm avoiding Facebook for this very reason.) The good news is that Gmail can be saved. Each of you (ALL of you) should take the following steps to secure your Gmail connection.

1. Sign in to Gmail.
2. Click on Settings in the upper right hand corner.
3. Under the "General" tab, "Browser Connection" area, make sure "Always use https" is selected.

That's it! This will make sure Gmail is encrypting every page you're on when you access it -- from any device, on any network, anywhere in the world. PROMISE ME YOU'LL DO THIS.

Okay! That's it for me. A pre-Christmas gift from me to you. Not as great as a tin 'o three flavored popcorns, but a heckuva lot more useful, right?

A new quest

I'm on the hunt for this outfit now. I think I shall begin tonight.

Anyone want to join me?

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Image found here, a collection of incredibly gorgeous photography that has me inspired on all kinds of levels.

An Argyle Christmas Craft

I have two cousins, Erica and Brittney, who are incredibly crafty. Crafty and with kids. I hardly find time to craft, and I'm only in charge of making sure food makes it from the table into my own mouth. But with seven days of Panamanian beachy nothing-ness stretched before me over Thanksgiving week, I decided to put my hands to use.

Felt is the staple fabric in the Wood/Williams Christmas decorations. The majority of our ornaments, stockings, tree skirts, etc. are laboriously cut, sequined and beaded together by needlepoint. Knowing that lugging a sewing machine to Panama (if I had one) was out, I designed a tree garland I could craft upon while on the plane, sitting on the deck during a rainstorm, or while catching sun at the pool. And I needed something that could be completed. (I have a tendency to leave half-completed crafts.)

Step 1: Cut felt into squares. I did some 2" x 2" and some 3" x 3". It depends how big you want your garland and how much time you want it to take. (Larger size = faster to complete. Is this the best craft ever or what?) I'm lazy and didn't measure my cutting at all (isn't cutting always the worst part of crafting?) -- eyeballing it worked for the most part, but I'm not a true perfectionist when it comes to crafting. If you are, you may want to create a pattern.

Step 2: Thread your needle with three threads of embroidery floss. I used quite a large needle -- one with enough of a point on the needle to stick through the felt, but wanted an easy eye to thread. I used a #18 needle for Chenille. (This is me pretending I know what I'm talking about.)

Step 3: Stitch together. I used three colors--red, white, and cream in a bit of an argyle pattern. I created a star on the white squares, but any kind of pattern would be cute. (A green/orange/purple/black woudl be cute for Halloween too!)And thaaaaaaat's about it. Easy? Yes. I'm beyond pleased with the way it turned out and it'll be nice to have for the next few decades. Happy to answer questions if you've got them!

Celebrate good times

28 is hardly an extraordinary age to be turning, right? I mean, it's just kind of a filler year on the everclosermarchto30. Nonetheless, how thrilled and outright surprised I was that the casual celebrating of 28 are some of my favorite yet.



Lunch with my girlfriends. Dinner and trivia with some boyfriends and the world's-best-roommate. A lot of smiles and laughter and yellow-and-black checked-shirt-wearing.

Last year, I wrote a capstone letter to myself on 27th eve. I may be two days late, but I think I'd like a follow-up. But first I'm still working on my Christmas card. Thanks for the addresses if you've sent them. Prepare to receive them next week.

I made the following comment on Facebook yesterday, and I stand firmly behind it.
I know the greatest people in the world. Thanks for making an insignificant birthday year significant!

The answer to the question, how big are you?

Video chat rules. 16 days til due.

Well, I guess this is the year.

10 years out of the house on my own and I guess I'm going to send a Christmas card. It's been on the list for a few years now but I've never committed to it. Now that I'm celebrating an anniversary(!) I guess I'll buckle down and do it.

So. If you want in on this festive jazz, shoot me an email/text/facebookmsg/IM/owl with your address. I don't even have to know you! Because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like hanging the photo of someone you don't know on your fridge or mantel or in the trash.

Also? Each day of December has blown me away. This month might be the best in the history of the world.

pandamanium

Six glorious days in Panama doing a whole lotta this.

And this:
And this:
And this is how many swimsuits TWO of us went through in a week. TWO.

I'm back. I'm protesting our return by ignoring my winter coat and continuing to wear shoes without socks. (My coworkers are amused.) The weather is cooperating by keeping the weather in the mid-40's. In fact, it's supposed to hit SIXTY on Wednesday, December 1st. The first day back at work is always the hardest. But no worries -- I'm keeping my sanity by working on plans for my late Spring trip. Croatia anyone?

I like to think I'll blog more stories, photos and memories from the trip. Given my follow-through of late, I'm not holding my breath. But everyone loves a surprise--including me--so it's possible (things are happening evvvvvveryyyyyydaaaaaay.[end musical reference]).

DML: A new acronym for you

The references to my new church service calling have piqued the interest of several of you--I've been getting out-of-blog questions about what on earth I'm doing. So, since the cat's out of the bag with my calling and setting apart and sustaining, here we go. Prepare yourself, it's a mouthful.

Stake Digital Mission Leader

(And when you hesitate saying it out loud because you can't remember all the words, don't feel bad. It happens to the best of us.)

It's not a familiar sounding calling because it's not a familiar calling. In fact, it's one of the very first (if not the first) of its kind. (Or my co-DML and I make two.) We've been tasked with organizing and creating a model for a Digital Mission in the Stake that's not only well functioning and productive but also potentially replicable throughout the Church. No pressure, right?

The short of the issue is that there isn't a whole lot of positive Mormon content online. Sure, it exists, but anti-Mormon websites greatly outrank positive--or even neutral!--thoughts, reactions, or description of Mormon beliefs. There's a bit of a race to catch up in some areas but there are plenty of low-hanging fruit tasks and projects that can be accomplished. (I won't start in on them, I could talk for longer than anyone has interest.)

So the last six weeks have been meetings, meetings, meetings, and praying, praying, praying, and talking and thinking and discussing and teaching and writing and coding and calling and really just feeling like miracles are coming to pass. (I shared some more of the personal, spiritual side over here.) Right now I have a testimony of Google Docs and shared spreadsheets and my two-hour weekly meetings with my Co-DML in which we accomplish more in a two-hour meeting than most meetings accomplish in eight (I know, I do meetings for a living).

Question: What's better than checking things off a To Do list?
Answer: Checking things off a church service To Do list. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink.

To those of you who've known by big news, boy do I appreciate your support and encouragement. I should feel in over my head but instead I'm finding us able to attack things in small, bite sized pieces. We figure out one line before we move to the next. I hear the precepts are next!

Moral of the story: Go watch a Mormon Message and feel good feelings. Still my favorite.

quick! give me a fake number.

So that Daylight Savings thing happened. And it feels like it's 8 at night for 5 hours of the day which is mathematically impossible but the first week is always the worst, yes? Linda and I had the early bird special at the Texas Roadhouse by eating at 5:00pm, but it might as well have been 8:00.

8's and 5's. 8's and 5's. There are probably more numbers I could choose from, but if I dared you to spit out a fake phone or social security number, I guarantee it would contain only three maybe four digits. It's like playing Scrabble. My vast vocabulary is suddenly depleted to 40 words that are each only 4-letters long. 5 if I can add an -s. Formal word games and I don't get along so well.

I found myself whistling a Christmas tune tonight at TJ Maxx Home Goods. (I only whistle Sleigh Ride. It's so catchy.) Could be that we surrounded by four aisles worth of Christmas stuff, or it could be that I only ever whistle two songs and Sleigh Ride is one (the riff from the Robin Hood cartoon is the other, thanks for asking). I didn't mind the early Christmas though--in fact I nearly bought 3.5 foot tree for our counter. But then I remembered all my ornaments are in Portland and it's only November 9th.

I got kind of crazy last week and cut bangs. Like real bangs. After not having any for 3 years. And when you're standing there in front of the mirror and are about to cut off 11 inches of hair from the very front, you sort of see your life flash before your eyes. But not really, because it's just hair and it will grow back. AND STRAIGHT BANGS ARE A GET-OUT-OF-JAIL-FREE CARD FOR YOUR EYEBROWS. I could be alright with this for awhile.

I can't can't can't wait for the holidays. Anxiously awaiting a week for Thanksgiving on the Panamanian beach with some of my best girl friends and then another 3 weeks out west split between Portland and Salt Lake. Plus my 43rd birthday in the mix and it's a cornucopia of holiday delight. I need to find myself a pumpkin pie (or better yet a pumpkin cake roll) and life will be A++++.

On the work front, a project I've been working on for 23-months went live this week! It's been a lot of work over the last two years, particularly the last 5 months, and particularly in particular the last two weeks. Good job everyone.

And with that, it really finally IS 8:00. Time to go find some Say Yes to the Dress. Happy November folks!

homemade halloween pop art

For a number of reasons having to do with an evening Stake Conference church meeting and our non-celebratory Sundays, today, October 29th, was our Halloween.

I do love a heavy makeup costume. It's late and a picture is worth a thousand words, yes?

People I knew had a hard time recognizing me--it was the first time I've ever felt incognito!

Happy Halls yall.

brain dump that starts with a miracle

Both my Mom and Alicia have instructed me to quit feeling the pressure of "a first blog back" and just start. (That's been one of the major road blocks I'll confess -- where to dive back in after so much time and so many crazy events?)

Tonight, I give you a secular miracle. Spiritual miracles over yonder.


An orange Starburst to me is worthless. So check out this miracle bag I drew yesterday. Target really is a holy house.

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Can you believe it's nearly November? I sure can't, but this Halloween-New Year's stretch is my favorite time of the year, so who am I to complain? We leave for Panama four weeks from today--marking the third time in three years I'll be in a foreign country for Thanksgiving. Nothing like saying thanks to those early pilgrims by evacuating the country that gave them freedom and cornbread.

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I have church at 11:00. There's something about the 11AM block that sucks the entire day away. Today, I left for church at 10:30 and didn't leave the building until 4:30. Sure extended meetings kept me at church longer than normal, but what happened to the in and out in just over 3 hours? 11AM church is a time vortex, I'm telling you what.

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I finally caught up on my last DVR'd episodes of the shows I've been missing since I went on the road the first week of September. Today, I enjoyed four episodes of The Vampire Diaries and didn't feel one bit of bad about it. Sure, the town of Mystic Falls might be a titch dangerous, but if the menfolk all looked like they do on that show, it might just be worth the risk.

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I did a three week tour out west for work and a bit of play. 10 days Utah, 7 days Portland, 4 days Detroit. It was exhausting and exhausting. While there, I spoke at a work conference on the parallels between catering cupcakes and managing successful web projects (the playback audio also confirms I speak with a lisp. >). High profile, high stress. Somehow I also thought it wise for cupcakes to accompany my presentation, so I found my self baking 180 cupcakes the same week I was freaking out about a host of other things that needed to be done allwithin24hours.

I learned some new stuffs this go round -- chocolate raspberry is the new black, bacon cooked in a microwave cooks flat and beautifully, and lemon cupcake with cream cheese frosting and coconut on top might still be my all time favorite.

Annnnnnnnnnnd now I want a cupcake.
The good news is this is the view I got to watch from my parents' kitchen while also baking, frosting, cleaning up, practicing my talk, or trying not to dry heave from nerves.
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This will be my eleventh winter with snow and I've still yet to figure out the whole winter shoe issue. Please someone, anyone, anyone, give me some pointers?

Also? It's good to be back. It was stressing me out missing so much of my personal history.

sink or swim

Dear Nat,

You're in the eye of the stormy summer that's changing your life. Of the past 40 nights, you've slept 10 of them in your own bed. It will be 10 more sleeps before you're back home.

You're overwhelmed with what's being asked of you both professionally and personally. Not battered nor broken, but endlessly swimming swimming swimming. You're not unhappy, you're just a step behind the deadlines you've set. (Good thing you're a decent project manager who knows how to pad due dates.) This week you present at a conference to a host of very smart strangers for work. You're also catering cupcakes. 72 hours and you'll have sunk or swam. My betting money is on swimming, so relax. (But don't forget to buy enough powdered sugar.) Your 4 days of nonstop meetings in Detroit will seem like a treat once this is done.

Being home will be nice, but make sure you've set aside adequate time for the church calling that's going to consume and ever change your life. Once you get it all sorted out, organized and planned (my, aren't we good at that?), it's going to be 0ne of the defining times of your life. It's been promised to you.

You're behind on blogging. Funny enough, you started this post with the purpose of ignoring all of the above to make a point. So here it is. Two paragraphs later -- you're good at being long-winded.

The pace of your life is rather insane at the moment. Despite, and perhaps a bit in spite of it, you've managed to keep--and even draw--your Tier 1 friends closer to you. The relationships you have with each of your sisters, your parents, your grandparents and your girlfriends made in both Utah and Boston have never been stronger. You've had visitors from and visited these besties of yours in cities across the nation. You are a really, really great friend, and I don't ever want you to forget that. Loyalty is one of your key strengths and it draws people to you. You're not alone, so don't feel it. Hear me?

Chin up Nat Pat. You're on the cusp of really great things. Sink or swim.

XOXO,
Me

All around the world, statues crumble for me

Best. Trip. Ever.

Seriously, it might have been. And one I'd like to document, so saddle up, because I think there's going to be an outpouring of words here pretty shortly. Basically, I just spent 10 days laughing--and it didn't help the sights were great, the food superb, and the language barrier funny. Ironically, the Spanish we did know earned us kisses and perks from all kinds of strangers. I'm not going to lie, we were kind of celebrities on board.

I got home last night and forced myself to unpack and do laundry before I even sat down. Wise, because I would have fallen asleep for the night at 3pm instead of the 5:30pm I held out for. When I woke at 6 this morning fully awake. I stayed in bed only because I had nothing else to do. Wowza. That's a first.

While I attempt to get some work caught up and my words organized, I'll leave you with a little sneak peek at the last ten days of adventure:

Until then, au revoir!

the closest cut

Growing up, I was the one who packed a bag for vacation weeks in advance. (I'm looking at you Girl's Camp 1996 and '97.) Now, my life is unpredictable enough that despite my best efforts--and nerdy To Do lists--I'm sitting on my bed, working from home, on a conference call, surrounded by stacks of clothing not in a suitcase, and headed out of the country for ten days in less than two hours. And I need a shower. And have another hour conference call. BUT NO STRESS GUYS.

I went to Kansas last weekend to visit Alicia and it was one of my funnest weekend trips in years and years. How quickly five years melted away and I remembered why we consider ourselves sisterly. Sure, we've each got our own--but boy howdy do we get along well. We talked nonstop for three days and I refound some center before being thrown back into the storm of wild work projects. We shopped baby clothes (she's having a girl and I'm getting a nephew(!!?!) and talked baby names. The greatest lesson I learned this week is HOW GLAD I AM NOT TO BE NAMING ANOTHER HUMAN. Good luck ladies.

So I'm headed on a little trip tonight. Flying to Amsterdam and cruising to Barcelona. That means ports in Brugge, Belgium; Normandy, France, Vigo, Spain and a ferry to Isla Cies; Lisbon, Portugal; THE ROCK OF GIBRALTAR; and then into Barcelona. I told you I love a cruise. The biggest stresser is making contingency plans with my gal pal Laura to meet in the Amsterdam airport, or at the port, or in Brugge should one of us get displaced by flights. Hurricane Earl, I shake my fist at you!

So, I guess I might have a photo or two to share when I come back. If I ever get there in the first place.

welcome back?

I'd like to say that I have day after day of silent entry in a journal not recorded here.

I don't.

The silver lining is that the silence written in the last month of non-blogging will long serve as ample reminder to the events occurring in my offline life. You wouldn't believe the sum of the parts. When the best of the worst is literally getting a needle-full of steroids shot into the face nine times I'm best to leave it alone. Sad (and somewhat lame) to say, but ignoring my blog was one of the only things I could control.

(sad trombone, right?)

Where my life as an individual has spun out in the last 5 weeks, I've been surrounded by a support system that's kept me afloat. It's true that blood is thicker than water, but there is no blood in this East Coast water. It's been heartening to watch the people I share space with help me rally--providing kind words, check-ins or emails of encouragement. I've grown closer to my roommate, to my home teachers, to those I serve on committee with. I've been privy to a sense of community with the LDS members in Boston as I've helped clean both the Temple and our Stake Center and committed myself to more frequently attending and serving in the Temple. I was able to attend the sealing of a dear friend and enjoy reuniting with so many good friends. The culture of my office is shifting to one I genuinely look forward to entering each day even with major changes afoot. Weekends have been spent with friends at Martha's Vineyard, at the beach, attending concerts, going dancing, and playing games. To put it mildly, I've been busy.

You may not know this, but I spend a lot of time alone. I don't mind it one bit--in fact I probably enjoy it too much. That's the truth and I've copped to always being honest. It's not that I'm out to prove my independence, I just don't mind being by myself. As cliched as it sounds, I've learned so very much about myself this last month. It hasn't been easy or kind but who doesn't have patches of black ice surprise them every now and then? However, looking at my interactions with the people around me this month, I find them extraordinary. Individually, I would have failed. Collectively, I'm more than treading water--I'm making my way upstream again.

There are innumerable lessons to draw from the experience I'm dancing around writing about--both good and bad--but I still feel 100 percent confident in my decision to stay in Boston. I have no where else to go nor do I want to go any where else.

And that's a good life indeed.