My Relationship with the Navy

Relationships are all about balance of power. Most often, he or she who cares least holds the control and subsequently owns the power and calls the shots.

It's also inherent in relationships that a balance is struck between giving and taking. If the two people in a relationship are Givers, who's taking? Conversely, if both parties are Takers, there's nothing to take since nothing has been offered or given.

Where is this going? Down a path you probably wouldn't expect.

Old Navy is kind of obsessed with me. I typically hold the complete power in our relationship--I act like the Navy doesn't exist, and spread my allegiance elsewhere. Months, nay, entire quarters will pass without me giving Old Navy a single thought. The Navy just doesn't blip my radar.

The Navy isn't having it anymore.

You may remember that Old Navy has tried to win me back before--she struck again last night. Unable to stand in the shadow of H&M, Target, Urban, or Century 21 any longer, Old Navy decided to swing the monetary vote in her favor by offering a Giving so large, I, being the Taker that I am, couldn't resist.

Ironically, I stepped into the Navy to return a pair of high-waisted jeans I believed myself not quite fashion-forward enough to wear.

This is what I left with ----------------------------->

Before you judge me, and the 37 items I purchased, let's talk price. Could you reasonably turn down a pair of tweed dress pants for $4? How about a patterned cami for $3? Dress shirts for $4? Three-quartered T-s for 97 cents? I mean, come on. 97 cents?!

What if you had three sisters and a mom who are coming to visit in less than a month? And you're the personal shopper of the group? Would you really hold it against me? Really?

Are you going to judge me for being a Taker? Wouldn't you take?

Last night, Old Navy had the upper-hand in the game of power. But like any one willing to so easily Give everything they have, it is I, the Taker who will bear the fruits of the Giving. The Navy, though her efforts admirably courageous, will be cold, alone and emptier today. It was a noble effort Nave, but our relationship goes back to what it used to be today. Just like most other high-powered relationships.

And in fact, I may send my friends over to Take as well.