Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Give 'Er the Boot



Now it's time....
......... to say good-bye....
...to all our company....

The big day finally came. Doctor's appointment numero tres. My wish came true! The doctor gave the go-ahead to remove my (2nd) hard cast.

Let's discuss the rotary saw here for a minute. Talk about scary. I'd already had one removed, but it's a little disconcerting to have a high-powered squealing saw that close to an oh-so-important appendage. The ankle part is the worst! It literally feels like the blade is going to cut right through. Ahhh! Scary. I really wanted to video the cast removal, but abstained....

Here's my Mary-Kate leg. Check out that sweet jaundice stain. Why don't people get tattoos that look like jaundice? Maybe I should start a trend...

For the record, I will not give you the gory details on how man-hairy my leg was, or the depth of unsloughed skin residing on 17% of my body surface area. Suffice it to say, the way bodies take care of themselves is pretty amazing. And cleanly.

While I was in Portland, I pretty much ate whatever I wanted. Really. I was pretty sure I'd gain back the quick 10 I'd lost once back from the Christmas holiday. That was my full expectation anyway. Wrong. I'm down even mas. Too bad I'm not losing fat, I'm actually losing body mass. Well, it might be the only way I'll ever get a celebrity leg.

A few of you have commented to me about how good breaking your leg sounds. I do paint a pretty fun picture, don't I? Eat what you want, work from home, wear pajamas every day all day, snack on imported food, get chauffered around... Well, just remember this. I'll be taking crutches to Europe. Boo.

So here it is, the big 'ole boot. Do you miss my cute lil black cast? I admit... I kind of do. LOOK at that beast! Mary Kate became Rosie O! Put her on the Biggest Loser! TRON! ROBOCOP! DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS!

My left foot just looks so little now, doesn't it?

So I've been slaving away on a presentation for a work blah-blah. My presentation was today (went well, yay!) but I was awake late into the night working on it. And when I say late into the night, I mean 4AM. Then, when my brain wouldn't shut off, I turned my computer back on at 4:30 to jot down some of the stuff my brain wouldn't let me purge. A few minutes later, the computer was off, but sleep still wasn't coming. I was adamant about not turning my computer back on, so I reached over in the dark and wrote "DVD/Collateral Distribution" so I wouldn't forget. No joke, I fell asleep with everything you see on this bed. (And by "fell asleep, I mean rolled around from 5-7:30am). Six pillows, Jason/Heidi's wedding announcement, an anke brace, a resistance band, a phone, two remote controls, health insurance paperwork, employment contract, my external harddrive, an empty waterbottle, and who knows what else. Good thing I never roll around in the night--I wake up in the same position I fall asleep. It's convenient.

This morning I learned what pouring rain in Boston looks like, that my walking boot is not waterproof, Staples doesn't make copies all that fast, and I need a nap.

Posts on little sleep are kind of worthless. Give them the boot. (And Blogger for not spell checking.)

10 comments:

ju said...

holy atrophy batman!

p.s. i'll carry you up to the blarney stone if you'd like.

Shauna said...

my favorite part about this post is that the nurse sawing off your cast is wearing babyphat scrubs.

Rachel said...

poor nat! your leg needs to be done healing already.

Nat Attack said...

My friend Krista LOVES Baby Phat. HOw coincidental.

I'm cleaning off my bed and have found additional treasures--three empty waterbottles, camera cords, south beach bar wrapers, a handwritten church talk I wrote a year ago, and the conference edition of the Ensign. No wonder I live in this bed! It has everthing I need!!!

Mary said...

"posts on two hours sleep are worthless." word. i had the same issue last night, and i've only gotten one comment on it.

yes, of course it means that all of you are now supposed to go to my blog and read my post so i don't feel alone and forgotten. psh!

BTW: i did see you up on Facebook around 4 a.m. almost chatted you up, but figured you weren't up to chat, for the love. you had work to do! and so you did. good job today, babe.

stephanielynn said...

congrats on the presentation going well and maybe you can rock the boot the way you did the gucci fanny pack.

kendall said...

NICE SHOES! I love my diesels that you gave to me. Please bless the foot to be safe in Europe.

onlychild09 said...

Will you please get out a tape measure and measure your two legs?! I want to know SO bad! Miss you...

Rachel said...

Can I just say that you're an amazing blogger? Even long blogs from you are never boring. How do you do it?

Sorry about the boot in Ireland. I love your Mary Kate leg!

girlsnap said...

OMG hilarious. Fabulous post. And have fun.

Definitely, maybe, probaby related posts:

If NatA! posted a photo with this blog, here it is!