by the time i grab my books, and i give myself the look

Tonight, I can cross another thing of my life's "To Do" list.

That's right. I have neer seen "Zach and Kelly's Las Vegas Wedding." I love Saved by the Bell. Of course I would; I'm a female in her 20's. Howeer, somehow, I escaped the 1990's without the capstone to my SBtB watching. And for the last 15 years, I've wanted to see the closing to an epic tale.

I decided to comment upon the movie as I sunk my teeth into this meaty 30-minute installment. Warning: there are some spoilers.

1. Zach, Slater, and Screech pull up to a curb and exit a Ford Explorer. This is the first time I have ever, and I repeat ever seen any of the SBtB kids outside. Think about it.
2. This is also the first time I have seen Slater in jean shorts. Double pleated acid-washed black jeans? Plenty of times. Run of the mill jean shorts? How early 90's.
3. Zach is sporting the Tim Riggins hair, but it's not nearly as sexy.
4. The soundtrack for this made-for-tv movie feels like a bad cruise playlist. Minus the steel drums.
5. Zach has a mom! And a new dad. Newer since high school anyway. (Dad is very, very tan.) If this movie were made in 2008, Zach might have had two dads. It is California, right?
6. Six minutes in and no sign of Mr. Belding. How good do you think my odds are that he'll stay hidden?
7. Zach's mom just gave him vouchers for a free room at the Stardust casino for their wedding night. She won them at her church's poker night. Raise your hand if you think Zach might have had a little smoother life with some church in his up-bringing?
8. Also missing? Jessie. I hear she's also in Vegas but was too busy working to attend the wedding.
9. Kelly and Lisa. Outside. Driving. Discussing the merits of curtains in the kitchen and lace tablecloths.
10. Zach and Slater, driving, outside, are arguing the merits of Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damm. (Who would today's debate be? Christian vs. Jason?)
11. CAR PHONE. CAR PHONE ALERT. And the classic Zach Morris cell phone!
12. Slater is now wearing a sleeveless, collared, button-up shirt. Zach borrowed his shirt from Corey in Boy Meets World, I'm sure of it. Short-sleeved, plaid, unbuttoned all the way.
13. Seventeen minutes in. I kind of miss the studio audience of the high school/college years outrageously laughing, groaning, and swooning at anything that happens on screen. And the pink fuzzy borders that indicate a dream sequence.
14. BLOSSOM REFERENCES. That girl Blossom and her stupid hats. BLOSSOM. That's the problem of putting pop culture references in recorded media. Will we watch 30 Rock, The Office, and Gilmore Girls with the same disdain?
15. Once upon a time, Krista and I made a list of people we'd vote off the universe. Ironically, we voted both Screech Samuel Powers and Blossom (and her stupid hats) off the universe.

Oh snap. The first quarter of the Zach and Kelly Vegas Wedding Spectacular is over. The boys are in jail, Lisa and Kelly picked up a bronzed and muscled hitchhiker, and some smart part of me died inside.

Here's the problem I've decided. The Saved by the Bell high school set is familiar. The Max is familiar. Zach's, Jessie's, Kelly's rooms. Mr. Belding's office, the gym, and that classroom right off the locker hall. They're all familiar. You know the show is cheesy, but you still love it anyway--it's nostalgic. In the blaring light of day, outside! driving!, and removed from the typical sets and scenarios we're used to seeing, the antics of our old crew feel grossly exaggerated and embarrassing.

Three questions. You can choose to answer one of them, multiples of them, or one of your own choosing:

1. Did I miss any other staple set locations in the classic SBtB series? I'll add the park bench outside the gym (see: Zach & Kelly's senior prom/break up)
2. Which do you think is more referenced/discussed/alluded to: SBtB or Full House?
3. Should I keep watching the made-for-TV wedding craptacular?