Wednesday, July 09, 2008

like she's walking on a wire in a circus

I had a really great discussion last night with a dear friend of mine whose life is about to change significantly. We discussed all the talking points in her grand plan for awhile and in a quiet moment she looked and me and asked, "What's next for you Nat?"

"Keep on keepin' on" was the knee-jerk reaction that hit my lips--that's the goal first and foremost for all of us, right? But the question was an honest one, and prompted an honest response. Lucky for the both of us, it's been on my mind a lot lately.

The short answer is that I don't know. Actually, let me correct. I don't know the details. I know that I'm staying in Boston at my current job and attending church--but other then that, I don't have a lot of plans. The crystal in my future ball is murky--I don't know what I'll be doing in eight weeks or eight months; I don't know. I just don't know.

With the knowledge that two of my very favorite people in history are set to leave Boston shortly, the idea of change has been on my mind quite a bit. But this isn't a foray into my philosophies on change; this is an explanation of what's next for me.

Again, I don't know. But you know what I do know?

I've been blessed with hope. For what? I don't know. But I can say, openly, honestly, and quite candidly, that it's a blessing I haven't felt in quite awhile. Not that I've been down or pessimistic about life or the future; but I haven't felt this genuine "it's going to be okay, something's coming" feeling in a really long time. And you know what? I really feel it. I don't know what it is, but it's like that famous someone once said in that famous movie once upon a time, "there's a storm a brewin." And I'm excited for that storm.

What's next for me is unknown and unplanned and unexplainable. But I can't wait to meet it.

6 comments:

j said...

Mmm...Counting Crows.

ju said...

i wish the storm would include you and me striking oil somewhere and living off the proceeds in our beach house in the south of france. or greece. or somewhere there is a beach and the men are plentiful.

short of that, perhaps portland at christmas?

Anonymous said...

the gift of faith (talent?) is a treasured thing...glad you feel it. I'm on for Christmas in Portland!

onlychild09 said...

Thanks for being such an awesome sister. Yes Christmas in Portland. I hope Julie is coming. You can't come without her.
xoxo

Ryan + Erica said...

This is a beautiful post, Nat. Thanks for sharing.

Alaina said...

LOVE the title. I feel smart when I pick up a reference in your blogs - no joke.

Isn't that feeling of "hope" amazing! You describe how I feel about life, too - just great peace that happiness is here and can only get better. Cheers for us.

I'M on for Christmas in Portland...

Definitely, maybe, probaby related posts:

If NatA! posted a photo with this blog, here it is!