This year, I've developed a routine. I'll head down a path I'm convinced will lead somewhere specific but will abruptly hit a massive roadblock that requires me to reroute my course. It's been frustrating, and at times I allowed my boots to fill with water. Lately however, my reflection on these points of frustration has allowed me to recognize the byways placed in my path as I'm forced to venture from that original destination I knew was going to lead somewhere. I've been able to strike off and forge a new path because windows are opening for me. Options are presenting themselves in ways I didn't originally foresee.
I consider this a pretty huge blessing in my life. It seems counter intuitive to feel like giant roadblocks are a blessing; and it is. Sometimes the windows that open aren't any better or more attractive than the doors that closed, and it takes faith to go to the window to even check it out. Despite that fact, I'm grateful for the realization that there's activity happening all around me all the time. I could dwell on the closing doors, and there are people who make a life habit of doing so, but I feel lucky that I choose to focus on the Open, Shut Them-ness of it all.
In January, I promised myself that 2009 was going to be my best year yet. Nearly three months sit between me and its close, but I feel I've made significant progress in myself this year. I've been let down by quite a few people, but I hope I've made up that share in my interactions with the people around me. I've made crucial decisions in several key areas, and I'm pleased with my ability to parse out what really matters long-term from what really bothers in the short-term. I've made good inroads into becoming a better version of me. I'm proud of that.
So come what may, I have key decisions to make in nearly every aspect of my life. One decision I'm sure of, however, has to do with a scripture I found in the Book of Mormon a few months ago:
"And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness." ~ 2 Nephi 5:27It has to be a choice. And it's not an easy one by any means, but I feel prepared to keep finding the windows. After all, a house with all doors and no windows is lonely and dark indeed.