Thursday, September 03, 2009

the $7.49 that changed my life

A CURE HAS BEEN FOUND! Beep beep boop bop bop boop hummm. A miracle! Wonder of wonders. Miracle! Miracle! A fifteen year mystery and quest for a solution found. HUzzah! Hooray! I have been healed!

Yes. I'm often prone to hyperbole. And prone means always. (See?) But I'm serious this time. A true cure. I have a whole new outlook on life, and it starts from the ground up.

Everyone has points on their body that don't operate on the highest level of performance. For me (and my mom, aunt, sisters, cousins, basically anyone with Wood blood in them), my heels are a point of major battle. Epic battle. Epic battle written about in every kind of epic war literature throughout the history of time. Epically tragic. To put it mildly, they crack. More or less an open sore from April to October with periods of brief respite in the winter. BUT IT'S ALL BEEN CHANGED.

Every cream, lotion, and dermatologist has previously been tested. Tried, tested, and failed. To put it mildly, I've given up the last few years. Until yesterday. One simple tip from a gal at the salon, one trip to the CVS, one lil $7.49 purchase and I'm a NEW WOMAN.

I recognize that 95.8% of my readers are women (men! identify yourselves or count yourself among the women) and wouldn't be too grossed out by my discovery, but I still have a level of modesty and decorum. No gruesome details here (find me another way. WINK.).

It's ridiculous how beside myself I am. BUT I'M JUST SO HAPPY. Come walk a mile in my shoes. It doesn't hurt any more.

10 comments:

Nat Attack said...

*Random note: When I wrote this blog I forgot to enter a title. Blogger creates the URL for your post from your title. Because no title was entered, it chose the first few words of my post.

This makes me laugh: http://natattackisthenewblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/cure-has-been-found-beep-beep-boop-bop.html

Alicia said...

When I read the title of your post and "A CURE HAS BEEN FOUND", I knew EXACTLY what you had found the cure for!

So happy that your feets are feeling better. MUST buy some for myself. Better yet, can it be purchased in BULK!? I need something besides a pasta salad spice to last for 3 years... elsewise I look like a weirdo.

The end. Bye.

Jody said...

Same problem here. (Must be the Wood blood!)

What's this miracle product you speak of?

Mary said...

Do tell! Is it Crack Creme? That worked for me on a really bad year.

Jan said...

You forgot the most important part of this blog...the miracle's name. Perhaps it only works on blondes who are 5'10".

Mary B said...

I'm still waiting to hear what this miracle cure it!

Mary B said...

I mean "is."

Nat Attack said...

HAHAHA. I'm emailing you right now.

Jody said...

Me, too! Me, too!

Alaina said...

Yes, email me please!

Definitely, maybe, probaby related posts:

If NatA! posted a photo with this blog, here it is!